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Today is my son's 5th birthday. It only seems like yesterday that Jill and I were over at Dartmouth. We had an appointment over there for an ultrasound. As Jill was getting off the table her water broke! They didn't admit her at the moment,so we got a room at the Airport hotel in West Leb. Our friend Heidi drove over to be with us. While Jill was feeling the pangs of labor,Heidi and I were watching the Red Wings play in the Stanley Cup! About midnight Jill was admitted. After a night spent rubbing and consoling her (Heidi,Jill's mom and I),she gave birth at 8:17 am to our beautiful son, Kiernan Leary! Those memories will be with me forever,although getting divorced from a family that I love with all my heart,will always have a shadow cast upon it.... My heart still feels ripped out as I still break down every day..

Current Mood: somber

It's amazing how some memories can make you feel so happy and now that I'm going through a divorce those same ones will tear my heart out! Case in point.....my son turns 5 tomorrow. Looking back at the night he was born was going to be one of those great memories for Jill and I to share with Kiernan for years to come. Now the thought of that night brings tears to my eyes for other reasons. Such as being so innocent at the time and never knowing that within 5 years we would no longer be a family...

Current Mood: sad

Well, I didn't care for the Xmas present that Jill gave me..She wants a divorce,and this time for real. No turning back. She says that she loves me,but not in that husband,lover role. She no longer wants to be with me,and it hurts like hell! I know we've grown apart over the years,with different likes,interests,etc. If it was just us two,I wouldn't hesitate to leave,but you can't make somebody love you. The fact that we have a beautiful,intelligent 5 year old son,is ripping a hole in my heart the size of a truck! I know things happen for reasons,and that I should trust the powers that be,but in the meantime being a basketcase really sucks! I'll write more later....

Current Mood: distressed

45 years young today. Wanted to get out and take some foliage pics,but didn't get around to it. Oh well,they're not at their peak yet anyways... Jill,Sunny and I went and saw Eric Idle from Monty Python the other night. He opened his Rutland Isles tour at the Paramount Theatre. It was an excellent show! We laughed so hard throught the whole evening! After the show,we got a chance to meet him and take some pics. He was a very approachable human being. So down to earth...

Current Mood: content

You are Tank, from "The Matrix." Loyal
till the end, you spare no expense in ensuring
the well-being of others.


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Down cellar with Vic trying to get an mp 3 disc to play in my cd player.....

Hanging out in the basement listening to the radio.... long weekend... cool... just wanted to write something to let everyone know I'm still alive... (to be continued)

Whew! It's a good thing that the war is winding down. Why? I just got a call that I've been accepted at Howard's Fire Control! Cool! Now,I won't have anything keeping me up till the wee hours of the morning.. I start Wednesday, 8:00-4:30. My job search is over for now...

Current Mood: enthralled

Haven't written in a while.. The war has been keeping me up at nights! Just so @ddicting! I'm glad to see that it's going well,though. Hopefully the Iraqi people will be able to enjoy the freedoms that will bring them the safety of mind that they deserve. I just hope that they don't turn their backs on those who have helped them achieve it.